10 Things I Know for Sure:

1. Jesus Christ is My Lord and Savior. Without Him, I would be lost and empty.

2. God put me on Earth to be a Mother to the two most amazing boys in the world. I wake up every morning knowing that is my purpose.

3. Nothing taste better on a cold Fall morning that a cup of hot pumpkin spice coffee. Watching the sun rise while drinking this cup of hot coffee is truly magical.

4. Perspective is very important. Keeping life in perspective is a minute by minute exercise. Also known as "The Big Picture." Most things in daily life do not matter in The Big Picture.

5. The Lord forgives. Forgiving yourself is harder.

6. Being kind matters. Being kind to animals matter. Being kind to those who don't look or act like you matters. Just be nice. Just be kind.

7. What sports team your kid plays on doesn't matter. It just doesn't. I promise.

8. Eating healthy food matters. I promise you will feel better.

9. The cream always rises to the top. Always. It might take a while, but it rises.

10. When I get to Heaven I am going to run until I find my Grandmama. And I can't wait.

Don't stare in the mirror on cold January mornings

Looking in the mirror this morning I see the deep creases in my forehead from years of scrunching up my forehead wondering about people. It's the exact same expression Ryan wore on his face for the first 2 years of his life. Unsure about people. Not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and a smile. The older he gets the more I see myself in him. Hoping its the good, but knowing it's probably the crazy too.

I also see the additional 10 (15 if we are honest) pounds that I am currently waging war on this year. It is not nearly as easy to lose now as it was when I was 21 and could run a few extra miles. It is beyond frustrating. Weight is not something I ever, ever thought I would have to worry about, but this is 38 and 2 babies.

I look at my hands and can't believe how bad they look. Scars from eczema and repeat cooking burns have left them looking like my grandmamas. I will decide this is not entirely a bad thing.

I see the beginning of tiny creases around my eyes. I try to ignore these for now. I have long taken pride that I inherited the good skin that can only come from good genes. Skin you can not purchase. No expensive skin products can replace good genes. My Nana's porcelain skin at 81 is beautiful. So, for now, I will not worry about the eye creases.

I do not look in the mirror and see my Mother. I keep wondering when she will stare back at me, but for now I do not see her. And, that's fine.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and the little voice in the back of my head starts asking questions. "What are you doing?" "What have you done?" "Are you sure you are doing enough?" Annoying questions like that make me doubt myself. I try to ignore that little voice most of the time.