Friday, February 5, 2016

Over Achiever

It is a cold, sunny February morning. I just made my 3rd cup of coffee despite the fact that I have piles of laundry and a 42 pound terrier that wants a walk. It is Friday morning and I am tired from waking up in the dark to a 6 am alarm all week.

I had my yearly physical yesterday and I really am thankful for my good health. My doctor told me I was "biologically 30" instead of 40. I do not know if this is really a medical thing or not, but I'll take it. Most mornings I feel 40, though.

Musings from my 40 year old mind today:

I married an over-achiever. It was inevitable, really, since I was raised by an over-achiever.
My father was the hot stuff of his small west TN town. He was salutatorian of his high school class and captain of the basketball team. He was in student government, popular, and friends with everyone.  He went on to succeed in  college and then Air Force officer training school where he graduated 2nd in his Flight school class. He went on to be a flight instructor and then had a successful career as an airline pilot. The man knows how to fly at least 5 different airplanes. He has retired from flying airplanes and now, at 65, has started a successful financial planning business. He has an MBA and is a CFP. He is athletic, handsome, and rarely meets a stranger. He has succeeded at everything he has ever attempted. I often say he has lived a charmed life.

My mother was raised by a strong, single mother in a small TN town. She was a cheerleader and a college beauty queen. She was a true Chi Omega. She is petite, beautiful, and smart as a whip. Besides her physical beauty, she is truly an angel. Everyone that has met her knows this. I have been her daughter for 40 years and have rarely heard an unkind word come out of her mouth. She embodies Proverbs 31 and defines the term "Godly woman." She lives to help people.

As an only child, this was quite a lot to live up to. I have often said I didn't have anyone to help spread out the disappointment! Seriously though, they never made me feel like that.  All this to say, I know why I was attracted to John Will.

Mom has been on a cleaning kick for, oh, her whole life. But, recently she gave me back boxes with all my old journals that I kept all through high school and college. In one of the college-era journals I made a list of characteristics I wanted in my husband. At the top of the list (along with Christian) were the words: "someone smarter than me." Now, some might say that wouldn't take much, but I specifically remember breaking up with guys that I felt were not quite smart enough.  I was never attracted to guys who didn't take school seriously. I needed someone that I knew I could trust to be smarter than I was. I know that sounds crazy. I just read it and it does sound crazy. But, when I met John Will I knew. It's as simple as that. I knew he was the one for me and 16 years later I am still crazy about him.

Last night Will got yet another phone call from a classmate asking about an assignment. This used to make me mad, but it happens so frequently now I am over it. Ryan asked me: "why do people always call Will about school work?" I answered: "because Will knows everything."  And it's true.

Our community was crushed last week when a Senior at the high school committed suicide. He was a National Merit Scholar, had a 35 on his ACT and had a full ride to his dream college. No one knows why he did it and he had showed no warning signs. It was a total shock.  Our middle and high school are nationally ranked public schools.  People in our community are extremely proud of our schools reputation for having high test scores and lots of National Merit scholars. Many kids go on to Ivy League schools. The rigorous academics are a source of pride.  But let me make this clear: IT IS NOT WORTH IT. A child's life is not worth it.  I have just spent this entire post telling you about my over-achieving parents and husband. But, I am now telling you I do not want this burden for my boys. It is just not worth it. If it comes easily to them, great. If it drives them to the point of insanity, then by all means let's just be average. I once read an article entitled, "The World is Run by C Students." This may or may not be true but the lesson here is that it is okay to not be perfect. It is okay to not be an over-achiever.

So, today I wish you love. I wish you many days filled with sunshine and happiness. I wish you a healthy acceptance of who you are and who God made you to be. Nothing more and nothing less.