Nine More Mays

Every May in our town the local high schools have yard signs made for all the graduating Seniors with their names to place in their front yard.  As we drive through our neighborhood the boys love to read all the names. "Brentwood High School Senior 2013 Hayden," Peter, Ashley, Sarah, and so on.

I started thinking that in 9 more Mays I might have one of those yard signs with Will's name on it. That sounds like a long time to you, but to me it sounds like tomorrow.

My first born. My angel baby. Have I said all the right things? Am I teaching him the right things?

Am I too hard on him? Not hard enough? What will his memories of home be? How will he remember me as a Mother? A crazy person? What stories will he tell on me?

It's easy to get caught up in the minutia of everyday. Eat breakfast, get in the car, go to school, come home, go to baseball, eat dinner, take a bath, go to bed. Repeat.

I continue to be amazed by my oldest child. He is smarter than me and has been since the day he was born. Our brains do not work in the same way, but I admire him just like I do his father. I look forward to watching how he will grow and what he will accomplish over the next 9 years.

I know at some point his heart will be broken and he will want to lose faith in this world. It happens to all of us. He will realize that people will let you down.  I know I can't be there to pick up the pieces and make it all better. But, I hope the seed of faith is already planted and he will understand that we can overcome. We can do anything through our Christ who give us strength.

So, as I try to teach the daily "grand scheme of life" lessons: treat others as you want to be treated, pick up after yourself, say "yes ma'am," don't eat Sonic hot dogs at 8:30 at night; I remember the same lessons my parents tried to teach me. At the time they probably didn't think they were sticking, but they did. Oh, they did. I just never dreamed I would have 2 amazing boys to teach the same lessons to one day. God exceeds all my dreams and expectations. He is good all the time.

Angels



Greta would have been 12 years old on April 28.  But, she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge the week before. We had to make the incredibly tough decision to put her to sleep. I kept her alive for about 18 months longer than I probably should have. She did not have any quality of life left due to her blindness and other problems. I can talk about it now and I am at peace with the decision. I wish she had had been able to experience more healthy years, instead of miserable blind years. In my mind, she should have been healthy until about 13.

 

I have always said that God has given me 3 angels here on Earth that I am aware of (probably more unseen angels.)

The first one is my Mother. Anyone who knows her knows she is truly an angel. As close to perfect a human as I will ever know.

The second one is Greta.

The third one is Will. (Ryan is an angel too, but he is a whole other post.)

 

 

But this post is about my angel Greta. Greta came to me at a tough time in my life. I had lost a baby due to a tough miscarriage. Greta came to us a few months later. She came from a sweet lady who breeds schnauzers simply because she loves schnauzers. These dogs sleep in the bed with her. No outdoor runs or crates.

She doesn't let her puppies go until they are 12 weeks old and fully house trained. (This is unheard of.)

By the time we got her, she was house-trained and didn't have accidents. She didn't tear anything up! She barely chewed one leg of an old table we had in our den. She cried a little bit those first few nights missing her mother and siblings. So, John Will slept on the couch with her and she was fine. Did I mention how much JW loved her?



I cried the day I had to go back to work and leave her at home alone. John Will would come home for lunch to let her out and play with her. We did not crate her. Again, she didn't destroy things. She was perfectly well-behaved. I use her as example of why crate training is not the end- all- be-all of  dog training. She trusted us and we trusted her.

She helped me through many dark days that would come and helped me see my way to the other side. She helped me bring Will into this world and welcomed him home with her protective schnauzer way. She happily moved to Knoxville with us and had a big fenced in backyard that she loved. She reluctantly welcomed Ryan home too. (And then all her hair turned gray.)

She went everywhere with us and we rarely boarded her. She hated to be boarded in a kennel and would come home with a hoarse voice from barking and crying incessantly the entire time. When we went somewhere and could not take her, she stayed with Nonnie and BB and Presley. Her home away from home.

She moved back to Brentwood with us into a house with no fenced in backyard. And, she would go on her little excursions around the neighborhood finding cat food and who knows what else. Everyone in the neighborhood knew her and at least acted like they liked her.

Then she suddenly went blind from retinal degeneration. And her health deteriorated from there.

Greta comes from a 5-generation line of champion schnauzers. Her father was a 3-time national champion from a well-known breeder in Knoxville. We lucked into finding her from a lady who lives about 10 minutes away in Franklin. We didn't pay that much for her. When she looked like she looks in that picture above, people would stop me out walking her and ask about her. She was gorgeous. She carried herself with pride. She could have easily been a show dog. But, none of that mattered. Her sweet, smart disposition is what we all fell in love with.

I am here to tell you, as crazy as you may think I sound, God sent this angel in a schnauzer suit to me.
I was blessed every day by her and there will never be another Greta. I am reluctant to get another dog because I am honestly afraid I will not be able to love it as much as Greta.

Miss you, Gretagirl.