Angels



Greta would have been 12 years old on April 28.  But, she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge the week before. We had to make the incredibly tough decision to put her to sleep. I kept her alive for about 18 months longer than I probably should have. She did not have any quality of life left due to her blindness and other problems. I can talk about it now and I am at peace with the decision. I wish she had had been able to experience more healthy years, instead of miserable blind years. In my mind, she should have been healthy until about 13.

 

I have always said that God has given me 3 angels here on Earth that I am aware of (probably more unseen angels.)

The first one is my Mother. Anyone who knows her knows she is truly an angel. As close to perfect a human as I will ever know.

The second one is Greta.

The third one is Will. (Ryan is an angel too, but he is a whole other post.)

 

 

But this post is about my angel Greta. Greta came to me at a tough time in my life. I had lost a baby due to a tough miscarriage. Greta came to us a few months later. She came from a sweet lady who breeds schnauzers simply because she loves schnauzers. These dogs sleep in the bed with her. No outdoor runs or crates.

She doesn't let her puppies go until they are 12 weeks old and fully house trained. (This is unheard of.)

By the time we got her, she was house-trained and didn't have accidents. She didn't tear anything up! She barely chewed one leg of an old table we had in our den. She cried a little bit those first few nights missing her mother and siblings. So, John Will slept on the couch with her and she was fine. Did I mention how much JW loved her?



I cried the day I had to go back to work and leave her at home alone. John Will would come home for lunch to let her out and play with her. We did not crate her. Again, she didn't destroy things. She was perfectly well-behaved. I use her as example of why crate training is not the end- all- be-all of  dog training. She trusted us and we trusted her.

She helped me through many dark days that would come and helped me see my way to the other side. She helped me bring Will into this world and welcomed him home with her protective schnauzer way. She happily moved to Knoxville with us and had a big fenced in backyard that she loved. She reluctantly welcomed Ryan home too. (And then all her hair turned gray.)

She went everywhere with us and we rarely boarded her. She hated to be boarded in a kennel and would come home with a hoarse voice from barking and crying incessantly the entire time. When we went somewhere and could not take her, she stayed with Nonnie and BB and Presley. Her home away from home.

She moved back to Brentwood with us into a house with no fenced in backyard. And, she would go on her little excursions around the neighborhood finding cat food and who knows what else. Everyone in the neighborhood knew her and at least acted like they liked her.

Then she suddenly went blind from retinal degeneration. And her health deteriorated from there.

Greta comes from a 5-generation line of champion schnauzers. Her father was a 3-time national champion from a well-known breeder in Knoxville. We lucked into finding her from a lady who lives about 10 minutes away in Franklin. We didn't pay that much for her. When she looked like she looks in that picture above, people would stop me out walking her and ask about her. She was gorgeous. She carried herself with pride. She could have easily been a show dog. But, none of that mattered. Her sweet, smart disposition is what we all fell in love with.

I am here to tell you, as crazy as you may think I sound, God sent this angel in a schnauzer suit to me.
I was blessed every day by her and there will never be another Greta. I am reluctant to get another dog because I am honestly afraid I will not be able to love it as much as Greta.

Miss you, Gretagirl.

2012

I went to 5 funerals between August 31st and October 30th. I am 37 years old. It is not strange that I have known people who have died. But 5 in 2 months was a lot for my soul to bear.

This has been heavy on my heart for months now, and I just don't think I can close out this year without paying tribute to these people.

The first one was a grandmother of one of my best friends. Nanny. Nanny lived alone, walked for miles everyday, gardened, cooked, babysat, drove to church, and was fiercely independent until her last day. She lived until almost 100 with not a bit of assistance! She was babysitting her great-grandchildren right up until her death. She got the last one sent off to Kindergarten and decided she was tired. She is now at home with her Savior.

The second one was sweet Sara Walker. (If you have not read her story or blog, please stop and do so now.) 35 years old.  A mother of 2 boys. A wife. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A disciple of Christ. Her life ended too soon, but oh to be able to make an impact like she did. The world has not heard the last of the life of Sara Walker. You just wait.

The third one was the mother of one of my best friends. (I am not ready to start attending funerals of my friends parents.) I spent many nights at this woman's house. I ate her red velvet cake and her rotel dip. She drove my pre-teen age friends and me to football games and listened to us act like idiots. She has a son and a daughter and a beautiful granddaughter that all need her. She left us too early.

The fourth was a friend of mine from church. A lady I sat next to in my women's Bible Study group. I attended a book club at her house. She was not a close friend, but someone I knew and admired. Her death was a result of the horrible meningitis brought on by the tainted steroid shot she received. Her story has been on the local and national news. She has 2 sons and a husband that desperately need her. She left us too early.

The fifth one was a cousin of my mother-in-law and husband. I did not know him well. I probably only met him a few times since I have been married. He was a husband and father to 3 children. A son. A brother.  And a grandfather to one precious little boy who really needed him. His life ended too soon and he has left a gaping hole in their lives.

All these people were missed this Christmas. Their absence was felt by many. All these people have friends and family that have to wake up everyday and realize they are still gone. Radio stations still play Christmas music. Children still have to go to school. Bills still have to be paid and dogs still have to be fed.

I think about these people and I pray for their families. I try to be thankful for the family I have and tell the people in my life how much I love them.

When things happen like the shooting in Newtown, CT I feel numb. I feel like I cannot even process the hatred and the wrong. The evil that exists. I did not watch any news coverage and I still don't know many of the details. I can't. I can't or I won't be able to drive my boys to school.

And then I remember that death is not the end of the story. Death does not get the last word.
That is our hope. Our only hope. Death does not win.

I wish you peace and love in 2013.


4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
(Philippians 4)

Dawsons go to Disney

**I wrote this post a couple months ago and never published. I am trying to post some to finish out 2012. We'll see how it goes.

We went to Disney for Fall Break this year. We usually go to the beach for a week with my parents, so this was a big decision for us. We waited to take the boys until the were both big enough to: a. ride all the rides b. not need strollers c. not need naps. Wow! We are so glad we waited! They both rode everything! It was wonderful!

I must admit, John Will and I were both Disney skeptics. We are not big into crowds or the whole Disney-esque world of fabricated atmospheres. We are happy sitting on an uncrowded beach every October. We both love to travel and want to take the boys many places and expose them to different parts of the world. Our parents both did this for us and we really believe it makes for a well-rounded, cultured person. But, Disney was not super high on our list. Our boys have been to New York City, Washington D.C., St. Louis and Atlanta well before Disney.

But, we bit the dust and went. And it was amazing.  It truly was magical. Someone asked me the other day: "Why, Ginger? Why was it so great?" I don't know. I don't know if it was the place we stayed, or the weather, or the low crowds or just the entire experience. I don't know, but it was awesome. It was one big happy-smiling-from the time we got up til the time we went to bed-family vacation.

This was the view from our balconey at the Polynesian. That is Cinderella's castle across the lake. Every night we could see the castle lit up, hear the music, and see the fireworks display. Two nights we saw the electric boat parade.

Our first day at Disney was at the Animal Kingdom. (We got to Orlando a day early and went to Legoland first. So, we were there 5 days. 4 days inside the Disney Parks.)

More days to come.........maybe :)

Things I Did and Did Not Do This Summer

Things I Did do this Summer:

1. Attended an Atlanta Braves game in 107 degree heat.

2. Took the boys to see the amazing Treehouse display at Cheekwood.

3. Listened as Ryan learned to whistle.

4. Watched in amazement as Will knocked out half a front tooth on a gym floor without crying, or even really flinching. He is now impressed with his "pretty new tooth."

5. Spent some time at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital when Ryan had his surgery on his arm. Instead of crying or being scared, he charmed the nurses and doctors with his nonchalant attitude and "Ryan charm." He says his favorite part was riding on his "bed with wheels."

6. Watched with joy as Will finally mastered swimming.

7. Took the boys to the Frist to see the quilt exhibit. Tried to impart to them what amazing works of art they were seeing. Wished my Grandmama were there with me to see them.

8. Took the boys to the zoo to see the clouded leopard cubs and the dinosaur trek exhibit (even thoough I openly despise going to the zoo.)

9. Watched lots of Olympics with my boys. Thrilled that they got to see a man with no legs race in the Olympic games and hope they will remember that the only real disability is in the mind.

10. Celebrated Will turning 9,  JW turning 38, and JW's 20th high school reunion.


Things I Did not do this Summer:

1. I did not run. It's too hot.

2. I did not make my boys do flash cards.

3. I did not diet, but instead I ate lots of birthday cake and chocolate dipped cones from McDonald's. (Thus proving my 36 year old metabolism just ain't what it used to be.)

4. I did not get 2 new puppies, but instead took care of my fat, happy, blind 11 year old schnauzer.

5. I did not wish the summer away. I did not count down the days until school starts. I do not want my boys to start back to school simply because I miss their sweet faces and laughter while they are gone all day. They are my heart and soul and the best part of me.

Father's Day Picture

I thought the blog needed a new picture. This was taken on Father's Day. I love it. I have the best Dad in the world and the two sweetest, smartest boys in the whole world!
Happy Summer!

Panic and the Art of Letting Go

One good (or bad) thing about running is that you have time to think. Sure, I listen to my ipod way too loud but there is also thinking going on beneath the music.

I did 6 miles Saturday morning and my thoughts started easy and manageable and progressed to pure panic and then back again. 

Much of my running is a prayer. I thanked God for the perfect running conditions; sunny and temp in the 50's. (It doesn't get any better than that.) I thanked God for my health and my ability to get outside and safely run. 

Sometimes thoughts turn self-deprecating when I have to stop and walk. When a woman probably 25 years older than me blows past me going up a hill, I think "what in the world?" Ginger, you should be doing better than this. But, then I remember I'm not in a race and I can usually tune that out. 

Then, I think about how Ryan will turn 6 next Tuesday and all thoughts lose all reason. The panic sets in because (a.) I do not want my baby to turn 6 and (b). He is my baby (c.) This means I am getting older too.  Makes perfect sense, right? 

I panic because I think about all the things I have to do before next Tuesday and his birthday party. 

How will I do it all? How will I have time to do this, this, and this and plan his party, and go to baseball, and fit in running and planning meals, and laundry and the other million little errands that have to be done every week. And did I mention he only wants his birthday party at home and I have a gazillion ideas in my head that I want to do but know will never make it out of my head by next week. 

The Virgoan panic of wanting things perfect sets in and so I keep running and eventually I realize: IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

No, I do not want my boys to grow up and leave me. I just don't.  But, I can't make them stop growing. 

Yes, it would be great to always have a baby, but that is not my reality. 

No, Ryan's party does not have to be perfect, because guess what? He doesn't care. He just wants his friends to come over to play and eat pizza and cake. 

And so I run. And I run slowly and that's okay too. Because on that beautiful Saturday morning I eventually got rid of the panic and headed over to the baseball fields in time to see my almost 6 yr old Ryan play baseball. The kid hits that ball every time it's thrown to him and runs lightening fast. It's a joy to watch my boys in whatever they are doing. 

Today my Nana turns 80. She has 3 children, 6 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren. She is beautiful, smart, funny and very independent. Maybe growing up isn't all bad. 

Washington D.C. part 2

I finally got blogger working again and uploaded some more pictures. 

Since it is now 80 degrees outside, it is strange to think that less than a month ago we were bundled up in hats, coats, and boots. Crazy middle TN weather!!

This picture is from the very first day when Ryan didn't want to walk and therefore he was on JW's shoulders with me in the background saying : "see, I told you we should have brought a stroller." But, then he came around and walked the rest of the trip. He was really great. Such a little trooper. 

This is a picture of us waiting to go into the Spy Museum. It was the only thing we did the whole trip that had  an admission fee! It was very cool with lots of neat spy gadgets and history. I would have enjoyed it a million times more had it not been so crowded. It was a small place with lots of nooks and crannies and I just don't do crowded very well. The gift shop was very cool. All the boys got really neat spy kits. Except for Ryan who got a very realistic pair of handcuffs. Scary. 

Right before we left Ryan lost both front teeth. Nothing cuter than a little boy missing his front teeth. 

And here is my Will waiting to get on the Metro.

D.C.'s subway system is called the Metro. Much cleaner and nicer than the NYC subway system. We only had to ride the Metro the day we went up to Capitol Hill. Much too far of a walk from our hotel. I love subway architecture. I found myself taking lots of pictures of the Metro just like I did in NYC.

 Attempt at group picture at the Capitol

Air and Space Museum. Boys checking out the Wright Brothers plane

Arlington was one of my favorite parts of D.C. It was a beautiful, cold day and the place is just so gorgeous and very well tended. This is a shot of Uncle Bob's casket being loaded onto the caisson. (A horse drawn carriage used at funerals.) The rest of us followed in our cars. It was very impressive and moving.