Kappa Chi

The social club (sorority) I was a part of in college was Kappa Chi. It is now falling on hard times and with very few members left is in danger of disappearing.  Our long-time, beloved faculty sponsor asked us (alumna) to write "What Kappa Chi has meant in our lives." Here is mine:

I have a September birthday, so I was always the youngest in my grade. My  parents dropped me off on Lipscomb University’s campus in August of 1993. I was 17 years old.

All of my best friends from high school went to big state schools – Tennessee, Western Kentucky, or Alabama. Not one of my high school friends went to LU. In a way I was glad. I could make a fresh start, meet new people, and try to find out what God had planned for my future. I was hoping I could do that easier at a small Christian college than a big state school.  My serious high school boyfriend was going to college far away in Indiana. Fresh break, fresh start. Nothing holding me back. I wasn’t one bit scared.

 Well, it wasn’t all instantly sunshine and rainbows. I had been placed with a random roommate in Elam who was miserable and obviously did not want to be at LU. She hardly spoke at all. I avoided our dorm room. I was not feeling at home. I remember driving all around Green Hills that Fall semester in my little red Celica just to listen to music.  I was only 30 minutes from home, but I didn’t want to go there either.  Sure, I met the girls in Elam but I was still not finding my people. It was a slow process and by Christmas break I was wondering if Lipscomb was the right place for me or not.

 I had heard talk of the Social Club scene and was very interested. I knew Freshman couldn’t pledge until Spring so I figured I would stick it out for the year. My mom had been a Chi Omega at Tennessee and I grew up knowing about the wonders and beauty of Sorority Sisterhood. 

 Thankfully, I met some other girls that I felt comfortable with and after Christmas break I moved dorm rooms to another floor.  I moved in with  a girl who would eventually be a pledge sister and we were next door to 2 other future pledge sisters. We were on a hall and around the corner from other KX girls and they started inviting us to Open Rush events. Ok! I found them! These were my people.  I knew without any doubt these girls were my sisters, my people, my family.

On Bid Night, I only wrote down one club- KX.  I was in the Spring 1994 pledge class. There were 10 of us. We were awesome.   I went on to have the 6 best weeks of my life during pledging. I would re-live them in a heartbeat.

 Kappa Chi is probably the real reason I stayed at LU and have an actual degree (from a now $43,000/yr university.)  If I had not met those KX girls who invited me to Open Rush events, I don’t know that I would have stayed without the Greek system. I was craving the sisterhood that KX gave me. I am an only child. This in itself is an entire other article, but I think it is the main reason that I needed that Sisterhood so very badly. Not all girls do. Some girls are very happy with their college life without a sorority. I needed to feel like I was part of a family, with sisters, and a purpose, and an 8:30 meeting to be at every Tuesday night.  I was vice-president for 2 of my 4 years and this also gave me a job and a purpose. I enjoyed the entire process of Rush and Bid night and planning events. KX is notoriously bad at rushing girls, but I loved it! I loved meeting the younger girls and trying to make them feel included because SOMEONE DID THAT FOR ME and it made all the difference. 

I still talk to my KX sisters on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis. My sister in law is a KX sister and my mother in law is a charter member.  KX has had a lasting impact on my life. I know KX has had its share of struggles over the years and recruiting and rushing girls has never been easy. This is almost an unspoken quality of a KX girl. We just can’t make you like us. You either do or you don’t. But, for me, KX kept me at LU and changed my life.  And some of the best memories I will take with me to my deathbed include my KX sisters and really loud laughter.

 PEACE AND LOVE. 

Boy Mom

I guess I just always assumed I would have a girl baby. I don't know why, but I did. That's how I saw myself. I always just wanted to be a Mom and when I would play babies growing up with Missy, we always had baby girls. In dresses. And bows.  I mean, I was a girl.  I didn't have brothers, so that is all I knew. Girls and girl stuff.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when I found out Will was going to be a boy. How fun! A boy! What a surprise! How unique! We had our name pretty much picked out for us, so that wasn't hard. What a great treat for my Dad, to have a grandson. I got on board with the boy thing very quickly. Big brothers are great ( I was already thinking down the road to future siblings,) every girl needs a big brother to protect her. How fun! A BOY!  And I would spend MUCH less money on clothes! This is great!

And Will was born and he was perfect. He was an angel. He was the answer to every prayer I ever prayed. He was everything I needed and never knew. He was beautiful with his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.

So, about 2 and 1/2 years later we were unexpectedly expecting another baby. I hummed and hawed and couldn't decide if I wanted to know the gender or not. But, we were in a position where I really needed to plan ahead for many reasons. So, we found out we were expecting another boy. Shock. I was in shock. We both thought for sure it was a girl.  We both would've bet the farm it was a girl. What in this world? Why would we want two boys?  I think John Will even promised me it was a girl. I  called my Dad first and told him while he was playing golf that he was getting another boy. I think he was secretly disappointed. Nana, however, was convinced of John Will's masculinity after siring 2 boys in a row. I spent 9 months wrapping my mind around the idea of a little brother.  Two boys. Who did God think I was? Expert boy Mom?

And Ryan was born and he was gorgeous. And we have never been happier to hear a baby cry after 45 minutes of silence and a wrapped cord. He was big and beautiful and exactly what I needed. He is the second half of my soul that I never knew was missing. He has hazel eyes and broad shoulders and the compassion and strength our family needed.

So, where is my girl? I am still looking for her. I have had Greta and now Betsy, but they are not exactly the same.  Not that I miss the drama and eye rolls. No ma'am, I don't need anyone telling me constantly what to do and what to wear. But, I wouldn't mind shopping at the American Girl doll store. Or, picking out  a wedding dress. Or helping someone out in the delivery room some day. I doubt my daughter-in-laws will welcome me in the delivery room. And I doubt they will want my advice. And they won't call me with cooking  questions. And I will be lonely. And that makes me sad. I might meet my girl some day, but it won't be this side of Heaven.  And, I guess that's okay.

Because being a boy mom is awesome. My boys are sweet and kind. They are smart and strong. They tell me I'm beautiful and cuddle with me at night. They could not care less what they wear.  I have happily watched more baseball games than I ever envisioned in my future. I have heard more Mindcraft stories and Pokémon stories than I ever needed to hear.  I have witnessed excitement over new Star Wars movies and ping pong tables.  I have seen my son cry real tears over a Tennessee football game. What more I could want? I have no idea.

Adulting

I have had to do a lot of things lately that I really did not want to do. I think this has been labeled "adulting" now by Millenials and other people who are younger and generally cooler than me. Adulting is doing things like paying bills, going to work, and generally doing things adult humans have to do in life.  Apparently this generation likes to eat Brunch and drink Mimosas. Sounds good to me, but it is not reality.

Last Friday I had to watch my husband be a pall bearer at his best friend's wife's funeral. She was 44. She has a 9 year old daughter who spoke at the funeral.  These are things I do not want to witness.

I have had to make some medical decisions recently that I did not want to make. Decisions that 41 year women have to make.  I did not want to make these decisions or think about these things. I want to be 27 forever. And weigh 114 pounds. But, alas, the reality is much grimmer.

I am having to watch our grandmothers get older. JW's grandmother is now in a nursing home. She is not happy living there and his mother is having to take care of her. This is brutal to watch.
My own young and beautiful Nana is now getting older. I do not want to accept this at all. I want her to be young and active forever. And make me Totino's Party Pizza, and style hair, and tell people they have gained weight.

My own two boys are getting older. They are having to go places like middle school. Gross. We have to make academic decisions for them like signing their life away to things like AP Calculus and Statistics. Decisions I do not want to make for my 7th grader. They are growing and learning things that older kids learn. This is not what I want. Why can't people stay small and watch Thomas the Train forever?

I have had to sacrifice things I have really wanted to do because my boys needed to be somewhere or do something. I sit at hot and dusty baseball fields at dusk even though it means when I get home I won't be able to breathe all night.
And to be honest, I don't even care. I am constantly shocked and amazed that God thought enough of me to bless me with these two boys. Highest compliment I will ever be given.

But, I don't like the getting old part.  I just don't. It is "adulting" at it's height, and I could do without it. JW and I both lament getting older. Everyone is a liar. They say "oh 40 is so great. 40 is the new 30."  Liars. All of them.


4 We will not hide them from their descendants;
    we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
    his power, and the wonders he has done.

Then they would put their trust in God
    and would not forget his deeds
    but would keep his commands.

PSALM 78